It’s August 2020. I’m a 31-year-old human. Why would I start a personal blog, one that has no intent of being monetized? There are a few reasons:
A place to collect memories
I’ve had so many amazing experiences in life but, apart from photographs, the access to them is scattered at best. I want to start collecting them in a place where they can all live together, no matter what form they might have: text, image, sound, video…
I also have to acknowledge the potential influence that reading The ArQuives book “Out North: An Archive of Queer Activism and Kinship in Canada” might be playing here. I’m only halfway through it but I’m amazed by its amazing collection of stories/mementos from queer people at a time before social rights have advanced to where they are right now.
a safe haven from social media
Throughout the years social media platforms have come and gone. No one in 2007 in Brazil would have thought that Orkut (yes, that was a social media back in the day) would one day disappear. But they do, and so does all of the content inside of them (you can generally export the raw data/files, but without the interface, that’s virtually useless).
I also want some distance from Facebook, their greed and business model don’t align with the world I believe in. I’ve deactivated my account over 2 years ago and I think it was the right choice. I still have my Instagram account (for now), but have been on and off because I do think that based on the nature of the explicit content I share occasionally, it’s only a matter of time before they delete my account.
A way to archive/share my artistic process
This one might be an influence of two external sources (I’ll share them below), but I’m trying to take more time to enjoy the process of things instead of the final destination. In college, we are conditioned to work the night away, generally alone, to deliver a project or meet a deadline. In photography, we shot, edited and printed photos that we were then delivered to the clients. In art, we put countless hours into a piece, and then sign it when it’s done.
That’s not how life works. I caught myself avoiding to invite people over because I felt ashamed of not having yet finished decorating my home (will it ever be done?). I’ve prevented myself from buying nice clothing because my body was still “in progress” with some weight to be lost. I’ve kept myself in unsustainably uncomfortable situations because whatever I was trying to achieve wasn’t “done” yet. The cycle needs to break.
By the way, the two references were “Hunter × Hunter” – which I just finished watching a few weeks ago –, and the video below. As beautiful as the final product is, what really mesmerizes me is the detail put in every step to achieve it.
an avenue to develop my thoughts
Those who know me are aware: I overthink a lot. The tautology there is not a mistake, it’s being used to emphasize that I believe I overthink more than your regular overthinker. Unfortunately though, it takes me a lot longer to develop a thought in my head than it does by talking to other people or writing it down (because it forces me to “talk” to myself). So I hope this space will be a great place to do that.
I also need a place to make mistakes. I have a very scientific mindset in the sense that I’m not afraid of changing my thoughts if a new explanation/reality surfaces that I believe has a stronger chance of being right. That doesn’t mean that it happens right away, sometimes I may become defensive at first, but with time (and now a bit of writing), I’m hoping I’ll be faster at processing and adapting to new ideas or understanding better why I hold one to existing ones.
Ok, this became a lot bigger than what I thought it would. Whatever. Oh, I guess I should’ve defined the audience in the beginning. This blog’s customer primarily is: me. That will allow me to not worry about stats like visits, page views, article length, popular topics, etc. As of today, I don’t care.
I appreciate anyone taking their time to read this, and definitely would appreciate people talking to me on social media or in person about things they’ve read here, but that’s not the goal at this stage. So, if you’re interested, follow me along for the weirdest, gayest, most unpredictable ride that will be documenting my life events here. 🙂
